The Little WHITE LIE

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"Years after your wedding, you will look back and will laugh at how you ridiculously wore a red dress." 

-- The harsh, mean words said by an aunt to a bride, translated in English

 A rebellious bride shared with us of her upcoming beautiful wedding. She excitedly showed her pegs--how she wanted a picnic organic wedding. Everyone will be in all-white, there will be white lily chairs, set against the backdrop of a beautiful ancestral white house. The twist was that she wanted to wear a short red dress and her fiancee wanted to be in shorts. Their parents were surprisingly, in full support. The bride's mom, was even defending her daughter to those who doubted her choices--that as long as her daughter was in the right, as long as they loved one another, and as long as she was getting the wedding she wanted then she couldn't ask for more. But there was a catch. The bride couldn't 100% enjoy her wedding preps because her aunt was totally against her wearing a red dress. The aunt was so against it that she even did the unthinkable--she declined to be the couple's godmother when she found out about the red dress, and even went as far as to say the mean words quoted above among other unsolicited comments insinuating that this was a sinful decision that God will not approve of. 

What I don't understand is why a person would exert so much effort to burst a person's bubble. A bride's wedding to be exact. And why do we do this? WHY? Knowing that a person can get hurt. Knowing that words can stab.

So to all the brides out there who are toying with the idea of colored gowns but are afraid of the potential bullying you might go through, we present you with two options. First option is to let it go. You cannot please everybody! As long as you are happy, learn to tune out these nasty words and channel your energy to the happy wedding preps. Second option is to FIGHT BACK WITH FACTS. What do we mean by this? They say that White is the traditional bridal color right? Well, what if we tell you THAT'S NOT TRUE.

Yes, you read that right. White gowns actually just started as a TREND whereas colored bridal gowns were the real norm. What happened was, a Queen wanted to "go against the flow" and wore white to her wedding, then some bloke created a mean poem about gown colors, while another bloke invented a symbolism for white gowns, then Coco Chanel made a short bridal gown in white then BOOM! White became the new tradition and colored gowns became a mockery. So if you want to fight back, tell your aunt or whoever that you are actually following the REAL tradition! Because colored bridal gowns WERE the real tradition back then. 

Do you think we are making this up? Here's a little bit of History:

The History of the White Wedding Dress

---

by Kelsey McIntyre, Guest writer

lifted from:  http://www.fromtimespast.com/wedding.htm

White was not the usual color for bridal gowns

 White has long been accepted as the traditional color of the wedding dress, but wedding gowns were not always white. The marriage of Queen Victoria to her cousin Albert of Saxe- Coburg in 1840 has had more influence on weddings than any other. Queen Victoria put the wheels in motion by marrying in white.  
 Though brides continued to wed in gowns of different colors, white was now set as the color of choice for weddings and has continued ever since. In Godey’s Lady’s Book, 1849, this statement was printed: “ Custom has decided, from the earliest ages, that white is the most fitting hue, whatever may be the material. It is an emblem of the purity and innocence of girlhood, and the unsullied heart she now yields to the chosen one.”

There is an old poem about how the color of your wedding dress will influence your future:  

“Married in white, you will have chosen all right. Married in grey , you will go far away. Married in black, you will wish yourself back. Married in red, you’ll wish yourself dead. Married in blue, you will always be true. Married in pearl, you’ll live in a whirl. Married in green, ashamed to be seen, Married in yellow, ashamed of the fellow. Married in brown, you’ll live out of town. Married in pink, your spirits will sink.”  (Sidenote: Imagine the power of mean words at work here. Someone thought of a mean poem and here we are today. Struggling with our decisions for wearing a bloody colored gown!!!! )

The Industrial Revolution also brought about change. By the 1890’s and the arrival of the department store, almost every woman could realize her dream of being married in a “new” wedding dress. The white dress was gaining popularity and in 1890, Ladies Home Journal wrote: “That from times immemorial the bride’s gown has been white”. Although this statement was NOT true, it shows how deeply accepted it was that a wedding gown be white. Although white was popular, some brides, especially the frontier brides, wore dresses that were more practical and could be worn after the wedding. As wedding dresses closely resembled the fashions of the time, only a little alteration was needed for the dress to be perfect to wear again.

Chanel 1920s short bridal gowns

 Edwardian brides took the traditions of their Victorian ancestors to new extremes. Fashions became more extravagant as the decade progressed, but came to a screeching halt with the outbreak of WWI. Styles became simpler, and also reflected the changing role of women in society with hems getting shorter and the disposing of tightly laced corsets. Coco Chanel was a powerful force behind the change in women's’ fashions, and was the one who officially introduced the short wedding dress in the 1920’s. It was a white knee length dress worn with a long train. This cemented white as the universal color of the wedding dress.

The fact of the matter is, white was not the traditional bridal color. But society was able to 'manipulate' us into thinking this because of Queen Elizabeth, Godey's Lady's Book, a stupid Anonymous Poem, the department stores from the Industrial Revolution, the Ladies Home Journal, and of course Coco Chanel. And so was White really the tradition? It most certainly was not. It's not even driven by religion. It was driven by a TREND. The moral of the story? Let's be inquisitive ladies. And if our ideas are being mocked, play "FACTS" with even more groundbreaking FACTS. For more information, CLICK HERE

MORE INSPIRATIONS!

Anti-White

Anti-White Part 2

The Bride on Fire

Vera Wang goes Rebelliously Black

 

XOXO,
Kai

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Rebellious Brides Present: The Bigger Picture (Part 1)

Photography by MangoRed

Hello rebels! How's wedding planning so far? This 2-part piece that we are about to share with you, are perfect for those who just got engaged and are just in the first stages of the wedding planning. But even if you are already midway into your wedding preps, this could still help you take control of your preps especially if things are already getting out of hand.  

Maybe the love of your life just proposed. And all these ideas about the wedding are already pumping you up. And that's okay. It's part of what makes the engagement and the planning exciting. You'll probably start buying all the wedding magazines that you can get your hands on, secretly feeling special that you can finally buy them. You'll start searching the web, and start scheduling for your wedding expo trips.You start to form the kind of wedding you want, and the things you feel are important to you and your groom. Go ahead, absorb all the things you see, read, and hear. Just let it flow. But don't feel like you have to decide now or that this is how your wedding should be.



Then all of a sudden, while you and your groom start to agree on what you both like, everybody starts telling you on what to do too. You weren't a cake person but someone tells you -- "what? a wedding without a cake?", or your weren't really thinking of having an expensive wedding gown made then all of a sudden, you get brainwashed into thinking that it is the most important part of the wedding and you eventually end up getting yourself into paying for a six-figure designer bridal gown. Everything suddenly becomes a blur, then you and your groom start getting confused, you start to argue, and the budgets are getting depleted. Then your excitement wanes down, then your new thought bubble is, "I just want to get this over and done with. I just want to get married". 

It's time to step back, and look at the bigger picture. What IS the bigger picture? Weddings are exciting, yes. Heck, I even had THREE weddings! Who doesn't love weddings! But I always reiterate that even if I had three weddings, my expenses will never match one, grand wedding with all the frou frou in this world. All my weddings were very SIMPLE. SIMPLE but unforgettable. First of all, look at the bigger picture. BEFORE you go into full wedding speed, always look at it in terms of what are the most important, basic things that you should really give importance to. Think of it in terms of the wedding AND the marriage. Stick to it. Prioritize it, and channel the bulk of your budgets into it. Then the rest of your wedding elements should just be "nice-to-haves", and don't be brainwashed into thinking otherwise. 

What are the THREE wedding essentials, really? The most practical, the most timeless. The ones that will REALLY matter for the rest of your lives when the wedding becomes a marriage? If you look at the bigger picture, it seems as though what really matters are: 1) The Ceremony - because that's what will make your wedding official and bounded by law and or your religion; 2) The Wedding Bands - because that's the sign of your love and loyalty and you will be wearing it your entire life; 3) The Documentation - meaning, your photos and videos that will immortalize your wedding for you to remember, and for the next generation to see. Everything else, even the reception, event the bridal gown are just nice-to-haves. These nice-to-haves are what will make the wedding fun. But they are not the essentials. They are not what's going to make your wedding binding, official, nor will it be the ones that are sensible to spend so much on when they will just turn moldy or will eventually be thrown away.

Now don't get us wrong. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't channel your energies into making your weddings enjoyable and exciting because that's what also makes this blog a resource for your preps. But all we are saying is, not everyone has an infinite budget for the wedding, and some are not actually agreeable to spend so much on the wedding even if they have the budget for it. And we agree on that completely. That's why we are saying, if you need to be more practical, then look at the bigger picture. It's okay to fuss about the gown, the bouquet, the invitations and all the whatnot but stick to your budget and reallocate a chunk of it to what will last a lifetime. 

Now once you've got your Ceremony, Wedding Bands, and Documentation in order then THAT'S the time you start having fun with the other elements, and THAT'S the time you set budgets for it. THAT'S the time you can allow all the ideas to just flow and go rebelliously awesome with it. 

But even for your 3 essentials, there are tricks to make it more affordable and practical without compromising quality and tastefulness. For instance, society says that the ceremony HAS to be in the church. But if you really want it to be civil, if you really want it to be by the beach or in any other venue not allowed by the church, or you actually want to do it in a "secret, quaint, chapel", don't let others bully you. Make it work. Make it work because it's YOUR wedding.  
The ceremony has to be the place where you actually want to get married and not where others expect for you to get married. You'll be surprised by the endless possibilities on where you can bind your marriage, in the most personal place you could ever imagine if you could just open your mind and just be confident about it. The best part is, these other options could even be more affordable! Affordable but memorable! Now there are also a lot of ceremony frou frou that you can do away with. Later on, we will discuss this for the Part 2.

Next is your Wedding Bands. Society dictates or would make you believe that it has to be this, it has to be like that, it has to be a perfect smooth surface or else your marriage will be in trouble. And all of a sudden it's like you are in high school where you get caught up with who has the better, more expensive ring in the group. But what is important is that it's the ring that you've always wanted. A ring that you wouldn't mind wearing every single day, for the rest of your lives.  

 A ring that will make you want to shout to the world that you are married to the love of your life. It doesn't have to be "bling bling", it doesn't have to be the most expensive designer wedding bands you could find. But it definitely has to be of great quality for the simple reason that you wear it every day. This is the kind of wedding expense that you shouldn't really skimp on.

Third is your Documentation. Others would have you believe that "they all look the same" or that you can just get 1 supplier to do both the photo & video for the simple reason that it's easier to work with just 1 team and it makes costs efficient. While this may be true, always remember that when it comes to your documentation, it's not about who can give you the best deal. It should be about the kind of photos & videos that will move you. 

The kind of photos that are really adding new dimensions to your ideas. The kind of photos that make you feel like a million bucks. The kind of documentation that can last a lifetime, and of generations to come.  This can get pricey. But this is the kind of wedding investment that we feel deserves a budget. And there are tricks to still save a lot even if you are getting the very best! For instance, opt for the lowest package of the photographer rockstars. Invest in them but know your limits. Their "Service Only" packages are more than enough. You can make your albums on your own anyway. And you can forgo the prenup. What is this prenup for anyway? What is its REAL importance. Look at the bigger picture. Same thing with your videography. Can't afford Jason Magbanua? Then opt for his For You Are Mine team! You want Ian Cruz? Then avail of his "Same Day Edit Only" package! It's not about if you can afford them...sometimes it's because you want to get them PLUS their most premium package. Again, know your limits and look at the Bigger Picture. Invest in great photos & video, but stick to the packages that you can afford. 

When we decided to get married, the first things I did were: Text Jason Magbanua (Documentation), bought our wedding rings the next day (Wedding Bands), got Amanda Tirol (Ceremony), met with MangoRed (Documentation) in that order. I didn't go to expos. We only attended one, just for the heck of it and that was it. Everything else...the fun part, the ideas, those things just unfolded for a year. While I don't claim to be the best at budgeting our finances, I am proud to say that I didn't have as much stress and frou frou for our wedding and I enjoyed my preps immensely. Because I stuck to our 3 basic, most wedding essentials and accepted the fact that I don't have a big budget for the other elements, that's the time when I had to be rebelliously creative with the other aspects of the wedding.

Being a Rebellious Bride, is not just about your wedding ideas. Sometimes, being rebellious is actually about going against the conformity by actually SIMPLIFYING your wedding.

The next part of this blog entry will focus on the other elements of the wedding and how to be more practical about it without sacrificing quality.

XOXO,
Kai

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Just say Y-E-S

When everybody is doubting your ideas, when everybody is trying to pull you down, when everybody is saying your ideas veer away from what is expected of a wedding, read this blog and remember these words:

"Say yes when you see something you love. Say yes when you hear something you love. 

Say yes when you taste something you love. Say yes when you smell something you love. 

Say yes when you touch something you love. It doesn’t matter if you have it or not, say yes to it, because then you are choosing it!" 

---From The Power by Rhonda Byrne

Enjoy your wedding preps, and be true to yourself. And if the going gets tough, always remember that you have a home in our blog--we celebrate your topak (crazyness) and you can email us if you need a rebellious cheerleader!

XOXO,
Kai & Mica

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Is a Wedding "JUST" a Day?

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We are firm believers that we shouldn't all be caught up in all the wedding hullabaloo. That's why we encourage you all to be inquisitive with the traditions dictated to you, and that's also the reason why we also encourage you to learn how to eliminate unnecessary expenses and only prioritize those that will really last a lifetime.

But to go as far as to say that a wedding is "JUST" a day? We'd like to hear what you guys think of this.

Every bride whether they prefer to have a simple civil wedding, a lavish church wedding, or a whole week of celebration, should be able to celebrate it the way you would want to celebrate it. Correct? One night, I heard someone getting super upset that a friend decided to "JUST" have a civil wedding--to her, it was like a sin to do so. Which was a bit sad, really.

Here's my own opinion and you are all open to form your own: A wedding is not "JUST a day". How can it JUST be a day when you are about to marry the love of your life? How can it JUST be a day when it symbolizes a milestone in a woman's life? A day you've dreamt all your life? You have every right to make your wedding your own special day. "JUST" a day? To even insult what a wedding stands for, to insult a bride who wants to make her wedding her own, is a form of bride bullying. No to bride bullying!

Now I know of people who don't believe in marriage or in weddings--heck there are even some who don't believe in having kids! But they say that it is just their own personal view and they respect those that do believe in the institution. To each his own, but without trying to pull others down.

Apart from the couples who want to get married and want to make a big deal out of it, there's also the people who make weddings possible. Do you guys remember the scene in The Devil Wears Prada when Anne Hathaway's character found fashion to be shallow? And then Meryl Streep explained to her how fashion drives businesses, puts food on the table for those who work in the industry, etc. etc. Then I think of all the wedding artists who work in this industry, trying to make an honest living out of the talents/specialized jobs that they can do that are related to weddings. And then I go back again to this Devil Wears Prada scene and I can't help think it's the same principle.

What do you guys think? Is a wedding "JUST" a day? Have you no right to make it special the way you would define it for what it is?

Discuss! But gentle reminder please, let's not go as far as mentioning other people or pulling other people down. Just a friendly debate okay? :)

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"Style Me Pretty"

My lovely matron-of-honor Anna Antonino
in her own styled ensemble / Bonne
Headpiece by Rebellious Bunch Bonsai Fojas
Photo by Rebellious Bunch J Lucas Reyes
in Filmtastic

Our dear rebellious brides, when it comes to styling your entourage, please don't fall into the same mistakes as previous brides have done in the past.

The truth is, friends and family just love you so much that even if they don't feel confident and comfortable wearing the gown you have chosen for them, they just don't tell you (at least not to your face). They simply don't want to hurt you even if their own egos and confidence are getting hurt.

Even if you are the bride and it's your special day to shine, make your entourage happy and pretty--don't make them feel fat, or ugly or broke.

We're not saying you are intentionally doing so--but you MIGHT be unknowingly doing it--especially when you are model-esque and look good in anything--well sister--not everyone does.

Here are some mishaps that have been shared with us via direct messages by previous entourage members, and later on we will provide some suggestions on how to style your entourage pretty.

1. Please don't choose unflattering styles. Thin, sexy brides fall into this trap all the time--they think everyone else has a rockin' body and would look fab in dresses that don't look exactly nice to some. Remember that some girls wanna accentuate while some girls want to hide a body part. Learn to put yourselves in your friends' shoe. REBEL X says: "How would YOU feel if you were forced to wear an empire cut gown that makes you look preggers?"

REBEL X: "NEWSFLASH! Loose dresses look good on stick-figure models. We're not models. Don't let us wear dresses that make us look preggers" (lifted from: stylefrizz.com)

2. Please don't choose unflattering colors. As one of our contributors REBEL W shared, she felt really uncomfortable wearing a gown that didn't go well with her olive skin. She felt miserable during her friend's wedding--and all the more miserable when she was tagged on Facebook in some of the wedding photos--but she just didn't say anything.

nicholsoncartoons.com.au

3. Please don't ask your entourage to pay for a gown that you 'dictated' for them to wear. It's one thing to ask someone to be part of your entourage and ask them to wear a gown that they are forced to wear--to even ask them to pay for a gown that they don't have a say in the style or price???--it's just really not nice.

If you are on a tight budget--then the least you can do is provide fabrics or just allow your entourage to wear their own clothes--but don't charge them. REBEL Z says: "Hindi napupulot ang P6,000! Ipag bayad daw ang entourage? Hindi nga ako personally bumibili ng mahal na damit eh!" (You don't see P6,000/$140 just conveniently lying on the floor--why ask the entourage to pay? I don't even personally buy expensive clothes!)

4. Please back-off a little. It's one thing to have someone wear a gown you want them to wear but to dictate even the shoes is just too much. One reader said her friend wanted everyone in the entourage to wear sneakers. REBEL Q says: "Hello hindi lahat ng tao bagay mag dress na naka sneakers at gusto mag sneakers!" (Not everyone looks well in sneakers when wearing a dress and not everyone wants to wear sneakers!) "Kung gusto ng bride mag sneakers eh di siya nalang at kung sino lang may gusto. Huwag na sana mamilit parang OA na." (If the bride wants to wear sneakers then she should wear one without having to force everybody else)

5. Please consider the weather. We've also had comments about how couples should be more considerate of Manila's very hot weather. REBEL U says: "Hello maaraw at mainit sa beach. Huwag na sana bigyan ng complicated outfits ang boys and mga kids! Basta lang gusto mo? Hindi makatarungan!" (It's sunny and hot at the beach. Don't provide complicated outfits for boys and kids just because you want to. That's harsh! )

Here are some tips on 

how to make your entourage happier, more confident, and prettier :)

1. Collaborate with each of your friend

Gowns by Jun Escario / Photo by Nice Print

In Anna Antonino's wedding, one of her most treasured and proud moments was when she actually collaborated with her friends and her designer to create special looks for each of her bridesmaids. She wanted everyone to feel beautiful and comfortable, and she gave everyone the chance to "hide" body parts that the girls wanted to hide. I loved my gown so much that I even almost wore this to my own wedding! I'm not kidding.

Which leads us to the next tip:

2. Style for each body type....and the weather  It's one thing to ask the entourage to wear uniformed gowns--but uniformed styles? Don't be lazy dears. You know better than that. Again, put yourself in your entourage's shoes. You personally have certain type of styles you wear and don't wear depending on what makes you feel confident and comfortable right? (again unless you are model-esque and clueless to the world) so please try as much as you can to create variations in your entourage gowns. There are different ways to highlight and enhance all body types.

Aside from this, create looks that are conveniently light and breezy. In the entourage gowns made by Veejay Floresca below, the girls are in short dresses instead of long gowns. And really....in our tropical hot weather, this seems like the way to go.

Gowns by Veejay Floresca

3. Go for multi-way dresses

Entourage Gowns by Gretcen Pichay / Photo by MangoRed

Multi-way gowns are a great way to allow your entourage to have a little bit more fun. For RB Mica's bridesmaids, the bottom part of the gowns were made uniformed into this pretty tulle ballerina-inspired skirt while the tops of the gowns were cleverly made into multi-ways that the girls can make into off-shoulders, halters, one-sided or in any way they wanted it to be in. This allowed the girls to experiment, highlight, or hide whatever they want!

4. Assign colors or choose a color that runs in various shades

Concept Shoot / Photo by Mikki Cuenca

There are girls who are also not confident in wearing certain types of colors. In the concept bridal shower shoot above, we created an idea where the bridesmaids could choose the color of the dress that they wanted to wear.

While in Rebellious Bride Kim's wedding below, she had her entourage wear gowns that are in different shades of blue. This allows you to still have the color motif that you want, but this also gives enough leeway for your entourage to choose a shade that they are comfortable in.

Entourage gowns by Laila Papa Ramos / Photo by Toto Villaruel

5. Allow your entourage to wear their own clothes

Photos by MangoRed

I am a firm believer in this, and I highly recommend that you do the same. This is a win-win situation because it saves you a lot of money, while also giving the full freedom of expression for your entourage to shine on their own. In the Round 1 wedding, I allowed everyone to be in their own white outfits--and they could also wear whatever shoes and accessories they wanted. With the money I was able to save, I was able to provide better entourage tokens for them that I knew that they can use forever.

For the second wedding, I once again allowed the entourage to wear whatever yellow outfit they wanted, and instead, I provided head candies for them to wear. Each girl also had the freedom to choose the type of head candy that they wanted to wear.

If you don't want to go this route because you are not confident in your entourage's own style, then guide them if you must--but at the end of the day, try to be as lenient as you can. Seriously, let your entourage feel pretty on their own.

Bonne Head Candies by Rebellious Bunch Bonsai Fojas / Photos by J Lucas Reyes & Arnold Camacho

Remember that it's not just you, the bride, who needs to feel special on your wedding day. Your entourage is an integral part of your wedding, they are going to walk down the aisle with you, they will also be taken photos and videos, they are also going to publicly represent you, so make them feel just as special, as radiant, as beautiful. Make them feel like a million bucks. 

XOXO,
Kai
@RebelliousBride

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Personal Weddings VS Creative Weddings

PREVIOUSLY ON RB#8

This entry was published in 2011 but we felt that it had to be re-published to add new links and ideas.

----

Are you ready to cross over the rainbow
to look for your own personal wedding path?
Photo by Three Nails Photography

We're sorry to say this, but we have more than 400,000 weddings on average, every year, in this country-- but so few that genuinely reflect the couple's personal style in their truest form.

And it's not our fault. On one hand, there are just too many rules & traditions being dictated by society. But on the other side of the spectrum, there's also TOO many ideas in magazines & blogs on how to make your wedding creative that sometimes, a couple will just cherry pick 'trendy' ideas and bundle it all up into one.
 
Then it all just gets confusing, doesn't it? 

What to do and not what to do!?!?!?

Answer:  Go for a PERSONAL Wedding. Take the time to just close your eyes and cover your ears. Don't listen to anyone else but you and your groom. Don't read any wedding magazine/blog for just a few minutes. FIND YOUR OWN WEDDING FROM WITHIN.

Photo by Mango Red

A Rebellious Bride does not allow herself to be BLINDLY controlled by society. The operative word being 'blindly', what we mean to say is that there is definitely nothing wrong with succumbing to what society or your parents expect of you and your wedding--but do so with your own inquisitive, logical mind and do so whole-hardheartedly and not only because you feel like you have no other choice or because it's 'trendy'. A Rebellious Bride makes her own decisions for her own wedding, even if people think she will burn in hell for her unorthodox ideas.

My husband and I first had a non-Catholic beach front wedding ceremony  which we fondly called, "The Bora Hop". It was actually a very, very, simple, low-budgeted wedding. But what made it different was the fact that we shared with our loved ones how we enjoyed the island as a couple-- hopping from one favorite Boracay spot to the next, to the next. Having an intimate beachfront wedding was NON-NEGOTIABLE to us because of sentimental reasons. During our very first date when my husband and I were still in that "getting-to-know-you-stage", the very first thing we realized we had in common was that we both dream of having a beachfront wedding (how's that for a first date topic? hahah). So even if our wedding wasn't a church wedding, even if it only had 30 guests, we went ahead with it. 

 Random strangers have JUDGED me for following my heart's desires. To this very day, my mom does not recognize our Boracay wedding as the official wedding. But sorry. It was OUR wedding so we did it OUR WAY. We paid for our own wedding, so we can definitely do anything we wanted with it. Do you guys know how liberating it is to create a wedding from scratch without worrying about the church component and worrying about guest counts? It's simply amazing I tell you. Now my mom still insisted on a church wedding where she could invite everyone she wanted and where she could plan her own wedding for me (she even had her own coordinator)--so I agreed to it. 

Some brides surrender their weddings to their moms but secretly nurture a frustration. Some brides also secretly hope that when she celebrates her 10th year  anniversary she'll have the chance to finally get her dream wedding. But I flipped this vicious cycle. I first had my own dream wedding so it was okay if my mom wanted her own. After all, who's the real bride anyway? Inevitably this became a win-win situation. We all got what we wanted and we didn't even spend that much for it. In the end, I even have a better relationship with my mom with no regrets or secret loathing for how the wedding turned out to be.

Conceptualizing for your wedding is fun. And here are other reasons I can think of, why a Rebellious Bride needs to have a personal wedding:



Photo by Mangored

1. Grooms think weddings are too girly and stressful. If you make it more personal, the groom will be more involved and will be more excited about your wedding. Cut him some slack and tell him he can do his own groom styling--allow him to have his own color scheme if he thinks your wedding is already too girly.

2. In traditional "Pinoy" weddings, more often than not, 80-90% of your wedding guests don't even know you--because they are the kumpare of your dad's kumpare, and the inaanak of your mom from a friend from the States. Having a personal wedding gives the "strangers" in your guest list, a chance to get to know you -- your style, and what you are like as a couple. It makes them feel involved and engaged in your wedding even if you barely know them.





Photobooth by Fotoloco

3. Because everyone's been to hundreds of weddings,  cut everyone some slack and show something new. It's not about who created the coolest wedding--it's about making your personalities shine through. Seriously. How many weddings have you gone to in your entire life? How many weddings have your photographer and videographer attended in their entire career? How about your guests? Give everyone a favor and surprise people with an out-of-the-box, refreshing wedding. Not only does this reflect who you are, it also inspires everyone around you.

Other countries, such as the US, have fully embraced having creative BUT PERSONAL weddings. And I can't wait to see the day, when we would have the same kind of weddings such as theirs.

Here are some amazing, fun, and personal weddings I have seen recently, in one of my fave wedding blogs, http://greenweddingshoes.com/:

DIY Bohemian Rainbow Wedding

Not only was this wedding creatively done, I love the fact that the couple CREATED THEIR OWN CEREMONY RITES. The couple planted a tree together. Now how meaningful is that to actually create your own rites rather than following rites that you were obligated to do? (Photos by Three Nails Photography). Most if not all Filipinos are scared to do a wedding outside of the Church--the very thought of it can break familial bond. And I don't encourage you to do that for the sake of being rebellious. But I just want you to re-evaluate the way we create our weddings and the difference between being dictated on what should conform to society, versus doing and creating your own wedding rites, the way you really would.

This Superhero, playful wedding, done in a Children's Museum, if done here in our country, will not only raise eyebrows, but will also be the start of some nasty comments on how such a concept belittles wedding traditions and should be reserved for a kiddie party. But I say this wedding is wonderful and so unique, it makes me wanna have a wedding all-over again (Oh wait, I DO have one! Haha). Photography by Jagger Photography

Vintage Carnival Wedding - Lastly, take a look at this fantastic, dramatic, and romantic carnival wedding! I love the idea of going out into the backyard and just having a blast! Photos by Gabriel Ryan Photographers.

I have not seen anything quite like these weddings and I would love to attend one! I enjoin you guys to step out of your comfort zones and be more rebellious! Let it all out!

BUT A WORD OF CAUTION: Do not create a wedding just because you think it's cool to have sneakers, it's so popular to have a non-floral bouquet or that you'll probably get featured for wearing a pink gown. IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT. It's about bringing out your own personality whether it's a classic wedding, a creative wedding, or even a crazy wedding.

The Wedding Agency

RB Mica & I can work as your very own creative agency/consultants, working to unleash the most personal, most unique wedding ideas for you. Here are some of the weddings/debuts we've been able to conceptualize (Click the title/pic to read the feature)

By The Sea Wedding

Lea By Design Debut

Little Rascals Wedding

Bora Hop Wedding

Elvis Do Wop Wedding

The Brunch Wedding 

 



Fore more information, visit: http://thesearchingbride.blogspot.com/p/services.html

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from Tacky to Classy

http://jadedbride.wordpress.com

If there's one situation where rebelliousness is not quite appropriate, it's going against a wedding's dress code. Not only is it rude, you'll also stick out like a sore thumb.

Here are some tips for guests and then later on, some tips for couples on how to help your guests to conveniently understand your dress code.

Tacky Colors - If you don't have a dress that is the same or close to the wedding's color palette, it's perfectly fine to wear whatever colored dress that you have. HOWEVER, there are two colors that are kind of tacky to wear to someones wedding, UNLESS you asked permission from the couple that they don't mind.

Black Dress lifted from: http://www.omwall.com/ and White Dress lifted from: aliexpress.com

Some brides are sensitive when it comes to guests wearing black on their wedding day because some associate it with mourning or even death. If you don't follow the same belief, or assume that she won't mind is besides the point. As a courtesy, ask first if it's okay to wear black.

The same holds true with wearing white. For very obvious reasons, the bride will be wearing white and stealing someones thunder during her wedding day is just a little too much. Again, don't assume that the bride is cool about it. It's not so hard to ask. If the bride says it's okay, then go ahead (but really, even if the bride says it's okay, and white wasn't purposely the dress code, why wear white if the bride is in white?)

Tacky Style - when the invitation says "Strictly Formal" or "Long Gown", it is quite obvious that the following Kardashian/Paris-ish outfits are just really rude (especially in a conservative church ceremony). They are perfectly okay to wear if the dress code says cocktail or "party chic" but otherwise, please wear something more appropriate. If you don't have a long gown, at the very least, wear something that is a little bit below the knee and not so body curving--you are in a Catholic church for Christ's sake. And it's also not date night.

Kim Kardashian's photo lifted from: capitalfm.co.ke and Paris Hilton's photo lifted from: http://www.zimbio.com

Understandably, not everyone has the budget to spare just to buy a new dress for a wedding. But even budget shouldn't be an excuse to be tacky. Here are some tips to go classy on a budget:

Invest in a fail-safe mid-length, beaded, neutral colored-gown: If you don't mind wearing a gown forever, then invest in a high-quality gown/dress that will go a long, long way. A just-below-the-knee, beaded, neutral gown  allows you to "cheat" any dress code because it won't be too short and too casual for a long gown/strictly formal wedding, it also fits right well in a cocktail type of dress code, and perfectly apt as well for those dress codes that includes "chic" (ie. tea-time chic, party chic, and whatever chic that somehow manages to be added in most dress codes). You can also refresh the dress with tights, layering the top, accessorizing, or changing your looks.

iheartthat.com

instylegirls.co.uk

Another way to cheat a dress code is to alter some of your previously worn gowns.

Perhaps you wore an entourage gown that you absolutely loved and it's just getting moldy in your closet--so why not have it deconstructed?

Maybe you can have it altered into two separate pieces (one fab top and another a fab skirt) that you can mix 'n match with some of your other clothes. Or perhaps you can have it cut shorter? Sometimes, it's really all about appreciating what you already have in your wardrobe and finding more ways to be able to maximize it!

Right photo - Tutu by Bonsai Fojas

Own a long tutu skirt because it's a great way to appropriately dress-up for a wedding.

A long tutu skirt is naturally classy because of its romantic vibe and tulle fabric.

The best part is, it's one of those wardrobe staples that can be worn in any type of occasion depending on how you will style it--even beach weddings! 

*Watch out for our separate tutu blog article, featuring Rebellious Bunch Bonsai Fojas' tutu creations!

loveatfirstblush.blogspot.com

Get a handy dandy dressy bolero/jacket/shrug/or capelet that you can easily rely on to magically transform even your casual dresses to something wedding-appropriate. Even an inappropriate tacky dress could very well be saved by a beautiful jacket, or if you are even the type who is more comfortable wearing pants, you won't have to be forced to wear a dress to a wedding if you can pair your pants with an elegant looking capelet or bolero.

A tip for couples

Define 'Summer Chic' Please! Lifted from: http://boards.weddingbee.com

If you have a specific dress code that you want to be strictly followed, don't assume that your guests are in sync with what you are envisioning for the wedding.

Illustrate the dress code and make it easier for your guests. Take the time and effort to provide color palettes, pegs, look books, style guides that you can put on your wed-site or facebook wall.

If it's even possible you can also create a dress code sketch in your invitations! Make it interesting, fun, and exciting for guests. For their trouble, make your friends and family shine during the reception by giving fun awards, or a 'red carpet treatment'.

Here are more sample pegs or guides you can provide for your guests:

http://www.brides.com

RB Mica's Flash Card Invite had a dedicated card just for the dress code!

Remember, there's a special and appropriate place for every outfit and being rebellious doesn't mean forgetting about proper etiquette.

UP NEXT: Watch out for our article on how to dress-up your entourage :)

XOXO,
Kai

@RebelliousBride

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